MURPHY'S LAWS


MURPHY'S COLOR LAW

When you lose the color on your display screen, you will see everything in black and white!
(Sorry about that - Murphy)


MURPHY'S BASIC LAW

If anything can go wrong, it will.

O'TOOLE'S COMMENTARY

Murphy was an optimist.

MURPHY'S FIRST COROLLARY

Nothing is as easy as it looks.

MURPHY'S SECOND COROLLARY

Everything takes longer than you think.

MURPHY'S THIRD COROLLARY

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

MURPHY'S FOURTH COROLLARY

Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.

MURPHY'S FIFTH COROLLARY

Every solution breeds new problems.

MURPHY'S SIXTH COROLLARY

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

MURPHY'S SEVENTH COROLLARY

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

MURPHY'S EIGHTH COROLLARY

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

MURPHY'S LAW of LINEAR PROPORTION

Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

HILL'S COMMENTARIES ON MURPHY'S LAW

  1. If we have much to lose by having things go wrong, take all possible care.
  2. If we have nothing to lose, relax.
  3. If we have everything to gain, relax.
  4. If it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.

MURPHY'S LAW OF MULTIPLES

If you percieve that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way will promptly develop.

MURPHY'S LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS

Things get worse under pressure.

MURPHY's AIRPLANE LAW

When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

MURPHY'S LAW OF SELECTIVE GRAVITY

An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

JENNING'S COROLLARY

The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

THE MURPHY PHILOSOPHY

Smile ... tomorrow will be worse.

QUANTUM REVISION OF MURPHY'S LAW

Everything goes wrong all at once.

MURPHY'S LAST LAW

If several things that could have gone wrong have not gone wrong, it would have been ultimately beneficial for them to have gone wrong.


These and many other good jokes can be found on Philip's Collection of Jokes